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DISNEYLAND
Two blondes were going to Disneyland . They were driving on the Interstate
when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT. They started crying and
turned around and went home.
FLORIDA OR MOON
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one
blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or
the moon?' The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see
Florida ?????'
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, 'What's the story?'
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he
could see her license.
She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show
it to you!'
RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another
blonde on the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the
other side?'
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back,
'You ARE on the other side.'
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her
body hurt wherever she touched it.
'Impossible!' says the doctor... 'Show me.'
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then
she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and
screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched
made her scream.
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?
'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'
'I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing
at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was
knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the
trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL
OVER!' 'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day..
The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'
The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'
The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!' The
Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
'You can't land on the sun, you idiot!
You'll burn up!' said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at
night!'
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night... It was her turn. She
rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If
you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?' She
thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and
asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was
named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of
someone naming dogs like that?' 'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde.
'They're watch dogs'!
Nitro Boat Accessories... (click for hilarious video)
FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW
TO A HAPPY LIFE:
1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home,
who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you
laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust
and who doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed
and who likes to be with you.
5. It's very, very important that these four women
do not know each other.
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